I have a tendency to think I can do anything. And most of the time this is great, until I lose sight of my real, personal, physical limits and burning the candle at both ends leaves me a melty puddle of wax. Like today. And yesterday. And, if I’m being honest, the day before.
Yeah. Sigh.
I’ve been here for a week and a half and haven’t bought any sweaters or a phone. I’m in the Guatemalan Highlands where our daily temps range from 50 to 70° F and I keep getting cold. Today, because of tummy issues I needed to contact the volunteer coordinator and let her know I wouldn’t be coming in. Only since I don’t have a phone I had to message her on FaceBook.
Yeah, that.
I want to do too many things and then there is the avoidance of others. Sometimes, though, they overlap too. I want to volunteer, take backstrap loom weaving classes, learn to dance salsa, take horseback riding lessons, do local hikes and volcano climbs, and travel the area on weekends. Oh, and yoga and cooking. In addition to doing the job that pays my bills, working on a project, and a different project, oh, and another three projects, well crap. Plus sweaters and a phone, and really, more shirts and maybe a pair of boots, but, probably not.
And, I could really use some Sudafed.
So, last Thursday, El Nahual held a Karaoke Party fundraiser. Bar, lots of people, drinks, singing, and jello shots, singularly and in random combination. I figured there was a pretty good chance I’d panic and sit in a corner all night. Sometimes I like being wrong. I sang twice, Hey, Jude , with five other girls and Friends in Low Places, with Tommy and his Irish accent. Mostly I knew the people around me and the others just really didn’t reach my awareness. So, fun was had, but a sore throat followed, made worse by sinus drainage, both of which I still have four days later.
I could go to the pharmacy and get some Sudafed*, but I’m really not looking forward to that conversation. I think that may be the procrastination on the phone too. I hate talking to sales people about phones, so let’s have the whole conversation in Spanish too. And shopping. I rather hate shopping. Usually I just order from J. Crew, since I know that the arms on their tops are long enough and so are the tall pants. Here, though, I’m not paying shipping, even if they would ship here (they don’t), and even if I believed the package would arrive (I don’t). Luckily, there are plenty of second hand stores with clothes for the long legged and armed type peoples. Except, I still rather hate shopping.
So, I’m taking the week off from volunteering, so that I can get myself set to rights and maybe figure out what I really have time for. Kind of like a non-guilty do-over.
*Turns out, the sale of Sudafed is banned here. I can, however get Valium over the counter, should the congestion get so bad I just want to lose consciousness. (Read with loads of implied snark, and a stuffed up nose.)
Tags: anxiety, comfort zone, Random, travel
