Posts Tagged ‘awesome’

Remember when…

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

I was a little reticent to put up the last post. It can be so easy to say,”Well, yeah, you can do X, look at all the stuff on that list. You’re obviously so much more Y than I am.” Maybe, maybe not.

I may have something you don’t, though. Blog archives.

When I do something that I’m proud of having accomplished, especially related to being shy/HSP/introverted, I usually write about it and post it here, with the hope that you will read it and get something out of it. Preferably inspiration, but whatever.

You’ve Done Eeeeeeeeeeet!

Once you’ve accomplished something, unless it’s HUGE, it doesn’t stick in the forefront of your mind. It slips further and further back until it’s almost not there. And this can be a great motivator, this wanting to move on to the next great thing of yours, but when your’e feeling low, it’s a problem.

I’ve got an easy way to look back and see what I’ve done, which is good, because when I was writing that post, I didn’t remember everything. I had completely forgotten that I rode a horse after refusing for 20-odd years. I forgot about contract negotiation and the taxi driver too. annoying git

Anyway, if I can forget these things after having done them and then written about them, I can only imagine what non-blogcentric folks manage to forget, especially in a time of the I-can’ts.

Twofer

Truthfully this is a two birds, one stone kind of deal. When you write about something, you create a story, one you can tell when you’re first getting to know people (or later) and it’s already there for you to draw upon. Second, you’ve got a record for when you get hit by the I-can’ts.

  • Obviously, you can journal, in a notebook or on your computer, or
  • You can write notes on FB, or
  • You can start a blog, public or private, or
  • You can write on 750words.com, or
  • You can email yourself, using the subject line to create a smart folder for organizing, or…

You are awesome, I am sure of it. You’ve also done more than you can think of right now. I’m sure of that too. Keep track of your stories. They tell us who you are, but they tell you who you are too. Usually when you need it most.

How do you remember what you’ve accomplished?

Want to receive small comfort zone stretches and resource recommendations every couple of weeks? Sign up for Inching Along and I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

 

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Dear Future Me

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Dear Future Me,

I know right now it feels like you can’t… Like you don’t have the whatever-it-takes to do what you need to do next. But you do. I know you do. Remember when:

you went to that first conference and didn’t know a soul? You met people, got irritated and started this blog.

you walked up to perfect strangers in a grocery store parking lot and asked them what they were doing and that’s how you saw just how beautiful moonlight and pollution can really be?

you drove from Dallas to New York City and back, alone?

you sold all your stuff and got a one way ticket to Chihuahua, only knowing that you intended to head farther south?

you got back on a horse after twenty-some years?

you got your PADI open water certification even though you were fairly well convinced you were going to quit breathing and die?

you climbed a volcano and rode a toboggan back down?

you created a program to help people become a bit more social in ways that work for them? Then you put it out there for them to accept or reject?

you zip lined across a river canyon hundreds of feet above ground? oddly enough, didn’t write about that one, maybe some day

you asked people to share their stories of being shy and introverted so that we can hear that it’s not just us, whenever we want?

you rode atop a float in Carnaval in Rio despite a stupid number of (or number of stupid, it could go either way) obstacles?

you told people no and had them rewrite contracts?

you went back to school to get your PhD, knowing full well that it will take another ten years, give or take a year? this one actually starts in a week or so

you created a membership community where shy/introverted/highly sensitive people have a space to share and learn about themselves and each other? You put you tiny sweet idea out there because we needed that space.

you learned how to hula hoop and navigate the city bus system?

you stood your ground with a taxi driver who seemed to think he could take advantage of you?

you hosted a Twitter Party and even had fun?

You did all of those things and at the time, they felt scary and your brain was screaming at you that it wasn’t safe. You did them anyway, because you knew it was safe enough and what you wanted was more important than the screaming.

What you want is still more important that the brain-screaming. And you can do this too. Whatever it is. What’s your first tiny step? Start there.

Love,
Me

Dear People Who Aren’t Me,

That quite a list up there isn’t it? Enough to make you feel a bit funny about your own list, maybe? Here’s the thing, I made a commitment to myself to try things that scared me. I took my risks. You’ve got yours and you’ve had your successes too. They are certainly different, but no less powerful.

We’d love to hear your successes, if you’ll share a few with us. If not, go ahead and write Future You a letter, maybe one like this or different altogether, either way, I’m sure Future You will appreciate it. *hugs*

Want to receive small comfort zone stretches and resource recommendations every couple of weeks? Sign up for Inching Along and I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Bookworm Reviews: Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning

Saturday, November 12th, 2011

Title: Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning
Author: Torre DeRoche
ISBN: 0615521118
Pages: 320
Release: August 27, 2011
Publisher: Gauguin Media
Rating: 5/5

Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning is a memoir, a story of walking away from the security and into the unknown, all for love. It’s also a story of sailing, adventure, meeting new people and being horrendously sea sick. Torre DeRoche meets an intriguing man (Ivan), falls for him and facing her greatest fear, she sets sail with him, only to find out, again and again, what ‘adventure’ really means.

When I got my review copy of Swept, I was a bit nervous to start reading it. I know Torre on Twitter and being in a position to judge the art of people I know, it makes me a bit twitchy. I started reading, thinking I would get in half an hour before supper, and I did. Then I read through supper, through my bath, and straight through my bed time.

While I enjoyed Torre’s tale of developing love and the way she came to commit to the trip, her descriptions of the sailing itself, each new destination and the people they encountered were what kept me from being able to put the book down.

I spent my teen years avoiding our sail boat. I think I set foot on it twice, ever. But now… The destinations as Torre describes them, they sound fresh and beautiful, like something I have to see for myself, and places that *need* to be experienced by boat. Even when that means plugging a leak with duct tape and eating canned food for weeks on end.

If you’re at all interested in adventure travel, facing your fears, or sailing, I strongly recommend picking up a copy of Swept.

Update: Torre has had some great news since I posted this. Congratulations Torre!

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Drawing from the Garden Well, Kyeli Smith

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
It’s quite a vicious circle. We’re shy and introverted and get uncomfortable in certain situations and since we’re shy and introverted, we don’t talk about it. So, we think we’re the only ones so, of course , yet again, we don’t talk about it.
I’m done with that.
We have a well of information and examples available to us if we ask. So, I’m asking. Each Tuesday, I’ll bring you an interview with someone who has overcome a part of their shyness or is working with their introversion to create their best life. 

Kyeli Smith

This week, Kyeli Smith and I discuss preparing for social events, setting aside recovery time, and partnering with extraverts. We also giggle bunches.

Kyeli-Smith.mp3 Approximately 18 min. (The download options shows up once you hit play)

Today is the last day of SxSWi so, Kyeli will be visiting the comments tomorrow to answer any questions you have.

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Picking Daisies, #1 What a Bounty

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Care to see the highlights of my web wanderings this week? Just look at all the lovely lovely goodies. Have any you’d like to share? Drop me a note and I’ll take a look. On to this week’s blossoms:

Giving and Getting:

Hallie Crawford talks about connecting with people rather than networking. He ideas seem like a great way to take some of the pressure off when heading out to meet new people both in business and personal life.

Ooh, Armature:

I’ve been looking at adding space to my day and finding routines to support me being my best self. Dr. Ted Zeff has a perfect starting list of coping strategies for Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs).

Nobody starts out at their most awesome. Thankfully, we have proof:

Archival footage of Steve Jobs’ first time on TV. Need I say more?

Being a Leader

Leadership is about leading, not being the loudest one in the room.

Apples and Oranges

Sometimes opposites not only attract, they even support each other. If they’re willing to work *with* each other.

And a counterpoint:

When you start to use your “opposite” as a crutch.

Socializing, it makes you happy!

… when you pay attention to the finer details.

On being your lovely introverted self:

Without taking it too far, from Psychology Today.

More on Introverted Leaders:

The advantages, according to Forbes.

If you’ve got any shy, introvert, or HSP news or blog post you think I may want to share, please send them my way. I especially love to hear how you are stretching your comfort zones. You can email me, or use the shiny form below. *hugs* And of course, if you don’t want to share your name and email address, make something up, I’m totally good with that.

Your Name (required)

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Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Love Letter

Monday, December 27th, 2010

My lovelies,

I’m so proud of you. You’re here because you’ve decided to come out of your shells and want to try new things, maybe meet some new people. You’ve decided to look for the first step, you may be a bit unsure but you’re forging ahead anyway.

Whether it’s shyness, introversion, being an HSP, being reserved, or something else, you’ve had a difficult time in social situations. Now you want to embiggen your social life. Adding new people, having parties, going to events, having a selection of starting points for beginning conversations.

You’re looking around to see what works and what doesn’t. Sharing and cheering, building on each other’s ideas and experiences. Trying and failing and succeeding and trying again.

Taking the little steps and the big ones too. Pushing at your limits and stretching your boundaries. Seeing where you can go next. Making discoveries that what you dreaded wasn’t as awful as you’d thought. That you enjoy things that you didn’t expect to like at all.

Thrilling in each new choice, attempt, trial, success, failure. Each time you push and stretch. Balancing going out and practicing self care. When you over balance and fall and try again. Spinning, twirling, and balancing…

And then…

Once you find your comfortable place that allows you to take your next steps, then you can look for the joy. Joy! And the disquietude that comes with it. Because, as wonderful as joy is, there’s no comfort in it. You can have an amazing life or a comfortable life, but not both, not at the same time.

The amazingness of finding and going after your joy and ecstasy, it’s not cozy, not safe, not comfortable. Which is why you first want to find a place where you feel cozy, safe and comfortable. So you’ve got that starting point.

To take the risk. To search for the joy. To go after what you want for your life.

Because you get to create your life, in whichever way you choose.

Yours in searching,

Kathryn

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But, can you make it pretty?

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

You know what makes my life better? When things are pretty. It’s so superficial and still so true. I’m guessing it has to do with being an artsy, creative type. Or, at least that’s what I’m going with until I’m proven wrong.

Organization as a Defense Mechanism

Take, for instance, my sticky notes. I have minimal natural organizational skills. Any systems I have in place are a response to things that have previously gone horribly, horribly wrong. Also, I write everything down, because if I don’t, it goes poof.

Always.

I keep several running lists on my desktop in virtual sticky notes. They used to make me cringe, but I needed them, so there they stayed. Until one day I got bored and decided to  avoid ‘real work’ by changing the colors of the notes, then the fonts and their colors too. Now, those same little notes, bring me joy when I look at them. They have become things I get to do rather than things I need to do.

Fonts as Anesthesia, for when Writing is Like Pulling Teeth

The same with writing in my word processor. If I’m working on something that comes easily, I leave the font and color at the default, but if it’s difficult, then I choose ones that resonate with what I want to feel while I’m writing. And, really, it works, the words come more easily. I think its because of the resonance I feel with what I’m seeing as I type.

Scrapbooking my Business Plan

And then last week, Tori Deaux told us about Emmit, her business plan. He has a clown nose, lights, and popcorn. And I have it on good authority there is a mini bar installation is his future.

Then my little Twitterverse exploded. In a good way. There is a group of us creating our own visual business plans. Personally, I got some digital scrapbooking software and a couple of visual business planning products. One for long term general planning and one for three month mapping. AND I’M SO EXCITED!

Sparkles! Ribbons!

My business plan has flowers and leaves and sparkly bits. And lovely papers and tags and ribbons. It may need a soundtrack, I’ll have to look into that… I get joy out of working on it and using it both. And that’s what I want in my life.

Beautiful things make me happy and that’s important, no matter how superficial it seems.

What aspect of bringing joy to your daily life and work have you been ignoring because it’s not ‘practical’?

You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Please, sink my ship…

Sunday, October 17th, 2010
Mice and Men and Me

I had planned to go up the Rio Dulce today to Livingston and on to Honduras today. Only the captain kept delaying the departure since I was going to be the only passenger. Once I realized we would arrive about half an hour before dark and would still need to find a hotel, go to an ATM, book a boat to Honduras for the next day, and get my passport stamped since the office is closed in the morning when the boat leaves at 7:30 I rescheduled for tomorrow morning.

“Some ships are designed to sink… others require our assistance.” ~Nathan Zelk

So, with several hours open before me, I started flipping through my Lonely Planet Honduras (woo hoo, personal digital libraries!), and found this (emphasis mine)

The Roatán Institute for Deepsea Exploration (RIDE; 3359-2887; www.stanleysubmarines.com; Half Moon Bay) is the fancy name for an American kid with a homemade submarine, which he uses to take tourists into the deep-sea trenches just off Roatán’s north shore. This is one of only two operations in the world that take Joe Public deeper than 91m. And the Idabel, as the sub is called, goes much deeper than that – more than 610m down, for as long as seven hours. There is no vegetation after 91m (and no light after 520m) and only the strangest of life forms: bioluminescent sponges, swimming sea cucumbers, six-gilled sharks, all amid huge limestone boulders and fossilized coral formations. The sub’s creator, Karl Stanley, got into submarine building with no formal engineering training, or even advanced welding, for that matter. He admits he has no special insurance (nor the interna- tional certification he’d need to secure it); if anything happens, says Karl, he’s not coming up either. The sub does have redundant safety systems and three days’ worth of air and supplies, and has had no major incidents in hundreds of outings. Up to three passengers can take trips of varying lengths: 11⁄2 hours to a maximum depth of 300m (L$7560), 21⁄2 hours to 460m (L$11,340), or 31⁄2 hours to 610m (L$15,120).

I wanna go!

Since the submarine holds three passengers and I don’t want to pay the whole fee myself, I’m looking for two people who will be on Roatan, Honduras during the next two weeks. I would love it if you would help me find them. If you’d like to help, please pass this post along. Thanks.

Of course, I’ll be posting photos and maybe a video from the trip if you want to travel vicariously .

You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud.What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Do you want to network or connect?

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

If you ever want to fill me with terror, set up a situation where you expect me to go out and meet people on my own. The idea of introducing myself to strangers makes my stomach feel like it did after I ate that burger in Mexico. Use your imagination, I’m not going into the details.

So, I’m listening to Awesome non-icky conference networking from Catherine Caine and Jade Craven.  It’s wonderful, and I love them both. If it wasn’t I’d be telling you about my crazy laundry lady. Also, that’s not an affiliate link, if that kind of thing bothers you.

Besides the idea of standing in the corner quivering in fear of actually *talking* to people, I hate the way the word ‘networking’ feels to me. It feels like suits and business cards, bad canapes and cheap wine. People who are un- or under-employed trying to meet someone who could get them that new and better job.

At one point Jade uses the word ‘connecting’ and for me, that made such a difference. I *want* to connect with interesting people. I *want* to form a connection based on snarky humor and a passion for hot tea. I *want* to connect with people who make me think and challenge my perceptions. But I still have to find them.

I have a minimal natural ability to strike up a conversation with strangers. I suck rocks at the superficial conversation starters. So, here’s a list to commit to memory and carry in my brain. (Yes, I over prep. What’s your point?)

Hi, I’m Kathryn. (Use your own name here, otherwise, it’s just weird.)

Are you from here? (Can be used as a lead in to advice on where to go, or info about where they are from.)

Some random comment about the weather. (Yes, it’s boring, it’s also something you are sure to share, your current environment.)

Is this the first time you’ve been to ‘event’? (Can lead in to present and previous experiences with said event.)

If you weren’t here, what would you be doing? (This one is a bit of a risk, could be interesting, could make them feel really boring.)

How was your work shop? (Sharing experience and advice, helpful for both and you might get insight into something entirely new.)

What project are you working on right now? (We all know that most people like to talk about themselves, plus, this is often why they’re at conferences.)

Another one that I’ve had luck with when I get up the nerve to use it:

I’m really shy, and I’ve challenged myself to meet and actually talk to some new people. Will you help me? (If they say no, that connection *probably* wouldn’t have worked anyway.)

Mini Comfort Zone Stretching Challenge: Strike up conversations with random strangers, two per week, until that feels comfortable. You’re welcome to join me and I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.

Also, in the comments, please share your conversation starters and any tips or stories you have about connecting.

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Bubble wrap and other baggage

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

The world is a scary place

Or, at least that is what people want you to believe. You know, to keep you safe.

‘Stay out of the city’

‘Watch out for pick pockets on buses’

‘Don’t look anyone in the eye’

The advice you get on traveling outside of the US (at least if you’re from there) borders on scare tactics. Your friends and family, random people who find out you’re traveling, they all have advice, words meant to keep you safe.

Or maybe smothered in bubble wrap, I haven’t decided yet.

When we left for El Salvador other travelers said to stay out of San Salvador. The city is large and dirty and dangerous.

We ended up in San Salvador because there was no reasonable way to go from El Tunco to Suchitoto without stopping here. It’s a big city like New York or San Francisco, parts are dodgy and dangerous, parts are beautiful.

Pretty much everyone I’ve met has been nice and some have been exceptionally kind.

Leaving La Libertad for San Salvador, the bus was fairly full. Not packed, but standing room only. I was wearing my little day pack in the front, and my large pack on my back. Feet apart for stability and each hand grasping the overhead bar. Not fun, but pretty much fine.

Until I slipped and twisted sideways. No damage done, but I uttered words unbecoming a lady. Then a gentleman offered to help.

What could he do? He was wedged in, first in a group of three adults sitting on a seat meant for two children. He could hold the large bag, he told us.

Given that I travel with nothing I am not willing to lose in the larger of my bags, I said yes. This man, a complete stranger, shifted my 65 liter pack into his lap, and rode that way for miles, until I was able to take a seat and relieve him of the burden.

I wouldn’t have expected that from someone I knew, but here was a complete stranger trying to make my trip a little more comfortable and stable by literally taking my burden upon himself.

From now on, I’m keeping an eye out for people who are generous and caring. Oh, and I’m going to go pop some bubble wrap.

In the comments, I’d love to hear your stories of surprisingly generous strangers.

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