Posts Tagged ‘Beginning’

Totem!!!!!

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

In August, I signed up for a Totem from Tori Deaux and she delivered this beautiful darling:

And I said to my self, ‘Oh, how cool!’ and then proceeded to get distracted by, um, I don’t actually know what all, anymore. I just have a vague feeling of dozens of things happening all at once. *sigh*

Here’s the text that accompanies my dear Wrendolyn:

Wrendolyn

(the not-so-simple wren)

Once upon a time, there was a great gathering of the Feathered Kingdom to appoint a new leader. Since flying was their greatest accomplishment, it was decided that whichever bird could fly the highest would become The King of Winged Things.  Eagle, of course, was a near certain winner, so he took off lazily, flying in circles up, up and UP, towards the Sun.

When he’d flown as high as he felt he could, he paused to declare himself the victor, but before he could speak? Out from under his wing popped the wren! She’d hidden herself there, hitching a ride. With a simple flap, flap, flap, she rose a few inches above the Eagle, who could only watch, stunned…. and she let out a little victory peep!

And that is how the humble wren became the Highest of the Winged Things.

If the Wren speaks to you as a totem, consider how powerful the humble and small can be, and how the larger, stronger and braver among your flock might lift you to new heights, and allow you to lead.

Wrendolyn is inspired by The Social Caterpillar, where Kathryn Hunter leads a merry band of introverts up, up and away, to new and higher horizons.

Self Care of the Quirky Sort

Wrendolyn conserves her energy and looks for the right opportunity to show her strengths. She makes use of planning and strategy, rather than trudging when no trudging is necessary. I’m especially happy about her qualities of Rest, Joy, and Creativity.

If you want your own Totem, Tori has a update list here, and I have it on good authority that she’s got an even bigger surprise on the way.

Do you have some type of totem or other representation that you use when you think about your life or business? What Qualities do you try to focus on in you life?

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Intention |

One Tiny Thing Thursday #19, The Interwebs, I Have Them, Sort Of

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Welcome to One Tiny Thing Thursday, where we choose to do one lil bit of a part of the scary, instead of trying to tackle the whole overwhelm all at once. Because, starting small is usually better than not starting at all. Join us?

While I finally got my internet hooked up early this summer, I never got the wifi working. I tried, but the wireless router didn’t pick up the right readings on it’s own and I don’t know what they are. Also, my internet is stoopid slow during the day. Often as not, YouTube videos make it gasp and flail.

So, I need to check the speed of my connection, call my internet provider and ask them to take a look at it from their end, and also ask them what settings I need to use for the router. My one tiny thing for today is check the speed on the connection. Maybe then I’ll feel better about calling or maybe calling will require a reward of cake. I’ve got a cupcake Groupon somewhere that could be just the remedy to this particular situation.

Update from last time: The appointments that I thought I would make, they got lost in the dozens of things happening at once that was the end of summer. I’m currently looking for a new angle on this one. 

If you want to play along, then just tell us in the comments what you’re One Tiny Thing is. And if you like, you can always come back and let us know how it went too.

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

 

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Posted in Ritual & Announcements |

Start Where You Are

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Are those lovely stories in your head preventing you from actually moving towards creating them as reality?

You know the ones:

  • Won’t it be great when…
  • I’ll be so happy once…
  • I can’t wait until…

Telling Stories

We get so caught up in the stories, we forget that we can bring them closer to fruition. The perfection of the future seems so far from the reality of the present that we continue doing what we have been doing, because we don’t feel capable of making the grand sweeping changes that would make that future story a reality.

And for the most part, we’re not capable of making, or at least sustaining those huge changes. All at once. Baby steps, inching along, it’s how you make it up a volcano and it’s how you make lasting life changes.

Right Here, Right Now

Where are you right now? Eating mostly fast food and freezer meals and suspecting that you feel pretty lethargic because of it? Okay. Where do you want to be? Eating all (or almost all) home cooked meals from whole ingredients? Okay.

Our usual inclination: Throw out all packaged foods and start fresh.

What we end up with: An empty pantry and a sense of panic.

Which causes us to: Go out and restock the pantry with packaged foods, and a combined sense of security and shame.

Or…

An Inching Along Option:

  • Find three breakfasts that you would be happy making and eating. This takes as long as it takes.
  • Buy the ingredients for one of them.
  • Make that one.
  • Make any adjustments you want/need to it.
  • Repeat 2-4 for the other three breakfasts.
  • Get into a routine with the breakfasts.
  • Repeat for snacks, then lunches and finally suppers.

While you’re making a new routine for snacks maybe you replace your burger in a bag lunch with a healthier soup, one that comes in a box, but you know what each ingredient actually *is*.

Or maybe you start by spending some time each day noticing how you feel after you eat. Paying special attention to what foods make you feel better or worse.

Small is Feasible 

A little bit each day. Or not even each day. A little bit at a time, whatever that time is for you.

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to food, or even physical health. It goes for any lasting change you want to make.

Where am I now?

Where do I want to be?

What’s my first, smallest step I can take in that direction?

Repeat.

For the rest of your life.

Because that’s what this is, *your* life. You get to create it on your terms.

What’s one change you’ve been considering? What’s the first small step you can take to get there?

And if you want some help in working through your Where am I/Where do I want to be questions, when you sign up for Inching Along, you get a free In Bud Session.
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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

The Accidental Vegetarian

Saturday, October 1st, 2011

I became a vegetarian last month, on accident (in case you couldn’t tell by the title of the post). There’s a good chance this will annoy anyone who has any responsibility of feeding me. Including me.

I’m ridiculously annoyed by this choice. Because, I didn’t sit down and give my health serious thought. I didn’t become overwhelmed by the way we treat animals in our food system. I didn’t have an epiphany regarding factory farming and its effect on the environment.

Make it Pretty?

No, I wanted to put beans in my quinoa salad instead of chicken, for aesthetic reasons. I wanted to make my salad prettier. Then, there were some local portobello mushrooms at the store and I brought some home to saute and put in a few sandwiches, instead of my usual sliced deli meat.

A couple of days later, that’s when the epiphany struck. I felt good, vibrant even, like my body had it’s own energy, even I was tired. And I knew that there was no way I could start eating meat again. Don’t get me wrong, I want bacon. A plate of it right now would be awesome. Until I finished eating it and lost that vibrancy.

Sigh.

Choices, Options, Decisions

So, my choices are different. I’m looking at my options, seeing what is available to me, because truly, I still think tofu is creepy. And slippery. *shudder*

It’s like when you chose to start poking at your boundaries. Your comfort zone. Pushing the walls of that cozy box you had created for yourself. Technically, you could go back, only really, there was no going back and you knew it. You know it.

No Going Back

Because that’s what it feels like when you first go up and talk to a stranger, head out on the road, share your thoughts with the world (or so it feels). There is no coming back from that, only going forward. Because even when it feels like you’ve lost your footing and slipped into old patterns, you’re not the same person.

Now, now you know what it felt like and you have some ideas on how to get that feeling back. And if you need some help,sympathy,or a kindly shove; we’re here. I’m here and so are the other caterpillars.

Now, you’re choosing to share your ideas, your gifts, yourself. And we need you. We need you because without you, there’s a little less flavor, sparkle, texture in the world.

You need you too

Not only that, keeping your ideas and gifts to yourself, it keeps them from growing. When we put ourselves out in front of each other, we grow, from seeing how what we do affects others and learning from their interaction with whatever we choose to share.

Taking those steps, it isn’t easy. Wasn’t meant to be. It is, however; enriching and amazing. Like you.

Two questions today: 1) Have you had your ‘no turning back’ moment, if so, what was it? 2) What’s your favorite vegetarian resource, but not for tofu, since I really don’t care for it?

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Posted in Learning & Awareness |

The Power of Questions

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Why?

I stood up to a cab driver while I was in Sacramento and I didn’t turn antagonistic *or* apologetic about it either. I know, I was shocked too.

I had to go to the store while I was in Sacramento and given how late it was the service representative at the train station didn’t think it was wise to walk. We went outside and got an estimate from the taxi drivers, $20-25 total, including going there, waiting and coming back. Now, you know I don’t have the best relationship with the idea of taking taxies, so I didn’t really trust that it would be that simple.

Taxis, They Use the New Math

We got there and the meter was about $12. I did my shopping but the store was short staffed so when I got back out it was at about $20. He dropped the flag again and we set out on our way. Really, it didn’t seem like I should be charged for waiting and have the flag dropped a second time, but, truthfully, I don’t know how these things work.

We returned a different way and this time the meter rang up around $22. He pulled in and told me to just give him $40. Yes, *fifteen dollars* more than the estimate. It wasn’t that long ago that I would have paid him just to get the whole ordeal behind me, but I wanted to see what he would say when I asked him about the discrepancy.

I asked him why the difference between what I had been told and what I was being charged was so large. He replied that we had to go out there, he waited and we came back.

“Yes,” I said, “but that was included in the quote.”

“Fine, pay me whatever you want.”

Just That Simple

I gave him $30 since the extended wait at the store wasn’t his fault. Then I went in and had a discussion with the station representative so that they knew what was going on. From now on, they’re going to get written quotes before they send people out in taxies.

So, this is my plan now: when something seems off, I’m going to ask why. Because, often there is something going on that I don’t know about. If I get a reasonable explanation, great. If not, I’m going to ask again. I know there are plenty of people who would look at this and think, well, yes, that’s what you do. As someone who has spent decades avoiding confrontation, this qualifies as an epiphany.

What positive ways do you use to handle confrontation?

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Posted in Processing |

Mick Jagger Got it Right

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

You can’t always get what you want, but, if you try sometimes,well you just might find you get what you need. -Rolling Stones

I’m pretty good at getting what I want. I get into programs that I apply for, I find the right ways to get people do what I ask, I find work arounds for when the solution isn’t obvious.

But, usually, I’m clearly qualified for what I want to do. When I apply for a program, I’ve made sure to meet or exceed the requirements. When I’m making a request or suggesting a work around, I’ve done my research and have the details aligned to back up what I want to do.

Something to Say

Over the past year or so, I’ve been sitting with the idea of speaking, giving talks, maybe getting up on stage, you know, with a microphone and everything. I’m nervous, I don’t feel ready, and even just writing about it makes my arms all tingly.

(If you’re poking at the edges of the ideas of speaking, Miki Markovich has a great story, towards the end of this interview,  about having a bad experience as a speaker and going back again.)

More and more, I feel the need to give public speaking a real try. I may hate it, but I want to know that, for sure. Or… I may love it, though probably, the truth will be somewhere in the middle.

Sit, Stew, and Stir

In my own manner of circling the edges of an idea, I’ve been looking at Toastmasters for practice, and I’ve found a few to visit, but I haven’t gone yet. And, of course I’ve been looking at short talks like Ignite, Pecha Kucha, and 140 Conference. Right now, a TEDx seems like a reasonable, though far away goal.

With all my poking and planning and stewing, I completely overlooked another path: Online Conferences. I follow Introvert Entrepreneur on Facebook and there was a call for presenters in my feed. With a deadline two days away. Perfect, since it gave me just enough time to write and leave my words to sit overnight, but not enough time to overwork anything.

The Qualification Barrier

So, I started filling out the form for presentation submissions. And there were no qualifications. Now, please understand, I’m sure Beth Buelow has criteria for selection, but you did not have to have previous speaking experience, a certain level of education, a published book to your name…

There was nothing to let me say, ‘Well, I meet the minimum requirements, so, I know I’ve cleared the first cut’. I could only do my best and hope. And while I wanted to have the opportunity to speak at the Virtual Introvert Conference, I knew that really I had succeeded at my first step, putting myself in a position to be selected or not. I wrote my submission and pushed ‘send’, and in doing so, I took my first real step and that counted all on it’s own.

Bonus

A week later I received an email stating that while I had not been chosen to speak, Ms. Buelow would be interested in interviewing me for her Podcast, The Introvert Entrepreneur. An offer that was unlikely to have come otherwise.

And maybe that is my first step, speaking in response to questions, which itself brings up the idea of panels. More to sit with and stew on… There is no one right way. There is no failure. You try, you see what happens, you correct your course and try again. And sometimes there are bonuses. Mostly it’s a matter of how you define ‘success’.

Have you taken any small steps recently or tried for one thing and gotten something else?

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

What If and the Invisible Problems

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

I got honked at yesterday. For crossing the street. When I had a WALK sign. Apparently, I *should* have gone faster.

 

Several years ago when I was just back at school after being diagnosed with a pain disorder, I had a workshop at school. I was there all day, on my feet, doing trial after trial with whatever technique the guest teacher was showing us. When it came time to walk home, I was exhausted and achy. I could barely move, so I shuffled my way towards the apartment one small step at a time.

 

While crossing a street on campus, a muscle car pulled up. The impatient driver honked, yelled at me to move faster and when I had crossed, he sped away screeching tires and all. Angry tears brimming I kept going, cursing his kind the whole way. And cursing the fact that I’d left my cane at home.

 Anti-Invisiblity Tools

Canes are exceptionally useful. Not only do they prop you up when you need it most, they tell the world that you have a problem and to please take care. No one has ever yelled at me when I have my cane with me. People scooch out of the way and open doors for me. They make an extra effort to be nice because they know I have a problem, even if they don’t know what it is.

 

Without my cane, I still have the same problem, it’s just invisible. I look like any other woman walking down the street. And that’s the thing, I am just like any other woman. We *all* have invisible problems.

And…

What if… the woman sitting through the green light in front of you isn’t texting her boyfriend? What if she just got word that her mother had a stroke?

What if… the man at the coffee shop who makes conference calls at full volume while you’re trying to write isn’t just a blowhard? What if he lost his job and is trying to make a go of it on his own and being loud and blustery is the only way he knows how to face the day?

And what if the guys who honked at me weren’t just being impatient and self involved? What if they were late or scared or excited? What if they had their own invisible problems?

 It’s Story Time

If we’re going to make up stories about the people around us (and we do it all day every day, anyway), why not make up stories that allow us to be generous? Because, really, we all have invisible problems, it’s part of being people.

 

Who does things that just irritate the living daylights out of you and what do you think their invisible problems could be?

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.

You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Intention |

Drawing from the Garden Well, David Billings

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011
It’s quite a vicious circle. We’re shy and introverted and get uncomfortable in certain situations and since we’re shy and introverted, we don’t talk about it. So, we think we’re the only ones so, of course , yet again, we don’t talk about it.
I’m done with that.
We have a well of information and examples available to us if we ask. So, I’m asking. Each Tuesday, I’ll bring you an interview with someone who has overcome a part of their shyness or is working with their introversion to create their best life. 

David Billings

David and I sit down and talk about being an entrepreneur while shy and introverted. We chat about finding and getting clients, going to conferences and trade shows, and keeping centered all the while.

Dave-Billings.mp3 Approximately 17 min. (The download options shows up once you hit play)

David will be checking in on the comments if you have any questions.

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Ritual & Announcements |

I’m Calling it a Win

Monday, March 14th, 2011

I really wanted to call this post Glitter and Blood, but, really, I it was only a few drops. You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you? Right, starting at the beginning, then.

The Beginning

So, as most of you know, for my 34th birthday, I bought a costume that would allow me to ride on a float in the Carnival Parade in Rio de Janeiro. On Saturday I went to pick up my costume, but it hadn’t been delivered to the company I had ordered it from. In the five hours I waited before they told me that, I met some awesome women who were dancing with the same school I was, one New Yorker from Oklahoma (Jen) and two Swedes (Ulrica and Anna) who share my middle name (Theresa).

Twenty six hours later, they arrived with our costumes, sort of. You see, we had ordered finely crafted Carnival bikinis with feather headdresses and collars, ornate gloves and boots. They brought us serged squares of nylon with scraps of fabric as straps and ties, gold lame hooker boots and a bird’s nest cap with a mohawk of feathers, all adorned with craft store leaves, attached with hot glue. Right.

Choosing to Have Fun

While the quality was craptacular, the ultimate issue was do we choose to be pissed off or go and try to have fun. We chose to go, since we had all traveled to Brazil specifically for the parade. After Ulrica told them precisely how ashamed they should be for calling that a Carnival costume, she made them take us to the Sambadrome by taxi and then walk us to our floats, as Jen was on a different one than the rest of us.

After changing our clothes on the side of the freeway in that way that only women know how to do, we waited. People came up and asked to have their pictures taken with us, since we were with Mangueira, one of the most respected schools in the parade. Not that you would know it from the way they handled the costumes or even the floats this year.

Up, Up, and a Wait

We climbed on our float, (note: I do not recommend combining five inch platform boots and scaling a ladder made of scraps of left over wood) and were told to find the spots we wanted. We found three together and the guy helped Ulrica on to her platform and left. So, we waited. Again.

During the intervening four hours we tried to get someone to help us up or at least bring us the ladder, but no. Then, as we pull up to the entrance to the Sambadrome, they suddenly realize that no one is at the top of the float and a dozen men swarm the float and try to get us to climb the float itself to get to the platforms. In our boots.

Right.

So, up the ladder, I went, while a man held it in place. Only, when I got to the top of the ladder, there was nothing to hold on to and I didn’t have any leverage to hoist myself up onto the platform. One man grabbed one hand and another grabbed the other, dragging me up, but since my knees weren’t clear of the platform I got a bit bruised and scratched up in the process.

It was Just a Bit of Blood

With one knee bleeding I made my way over to the other side and found an empty platform. Soon, we were off, lurching along with the platforms swaying as we went. And with my elevated adrenaline level following close behind.

As the platform swayed and my legs wobbled, at first all I could do was manage to stay upright. You see, I’m almost all leg, and when you add the five inches of boot to my original 5’8” you (I) get a rather high center of gravity. I also got a bit of a pole to grab onto for balance, only it was so short I had to grab it with the tips of my fingers. Not highly effective for managing balance.

We danced and sang and I kept an eye on where the ground dancers in front of us stopped so that I could brace myself for our next lurching halt. While I smiled and looked out into the audience, I would occasionally see people trying to get me to be more enthusiastic, but since my choice was showing enthusiasm or remaining vertical, I chose vertical.

The End

I knew I wanted to be in Carnival to see if I could do it. And I gave myself permission to stop at any point. I could in fact walk away, whenever I chose. And for me, having that freedom made continuing that much easier. Also, buy the time the parade started, I was so irritated with Manguiera, I did not care at all what anyone thought. So freeing.

 

While, obviously this was a big one, we have opportunities to see what we are able to do, all the time. Can you correct the waiter when he brings out the wrong order, can you stand up to ask your question at the next conference you attend, can you write a letter to the editor and send it in? What is something you would love to know if you can do? I really want to know, please tell me in the comments.

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:
We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

But, I’m Busy

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

You may have noticed a lot of new things on The Social Caterpillar. Yep, we’ve got four new weekly series going on now and I’m working on a couple of projects. Shhh, they’re seekrit projects, right now. Then, there’s all the normal daily stuff we all have and oh, yeah, the weird stuff that goes along with living out of two backpacks.

Busy Busy Brain

So, I’ve been feeling reeeeeeeeally busy. And today, I kind of crashed, as in, I spent the day in bed reading a novel with phrases like ‘eviscerated brain’. Two things there 1) brains do not have viscera 2) I kept reading anyway. Which, in a really absurd way, brings me around to what busy really means. The crashing part not the eviscerated brain part, you’re with me here, right?

Good. On with the show…

To Do lists never end. You will never be done. You will be dead first. No, really, this is a good thing. It means that what you do changes and keeps you interested. It means that you are unlikely to get bored. It also means that you are in charge of what’s on your list.

Experiment!

Try something with me. Take everything on your to do list and move all the things that do *not* have to be done today to tomorrow. Including: grocery shopping (unless you are completely out of food and unable to afford take out), laundry (unless you will have to wear your daughter’s prom dress to work tomorrow), cooking anything (see above), writing your next post, and mowing the lawn (or shoveling snow, depending on where you are).

All of it. Move it to tomorrow. (Oh, just pretend, it’s an exercise for Pete’s sake.)

So, what’s left? That meeting? Reschedule it. Your dentist appointment? Reschedule it. Your daughter’s piano recital? That one, you can keep.

My Point, and I Do Have One

We create our schedules. We create our lives. And truthfully, we cram in way too much stuff and leave out all the goodies.

As introverts and HSPs, we get overwhelmed by too many people and too much stimulation. We need to schedule self care. We need to schedule fun. We need to schedule time to sit and do absolutely nothing.

Now, we’ve all got to dos that need to get done, but they are no more a priority than self care or fun.

I’ve been doing bunches of creating and organizing for the new series recently. Mostly, this meant not getting out of the house much. I kept getting weirder and weirder about going out. And I started thinking I didn’t like Brazil. Only, I’ve started scheduling beach walks and shiva nata time and suddenly, my to do list, while it isn’t any shorter, it’s better.

Making it Work

Now obviously you can’t just keep putting everything off until tomorrow, indefinitely. You will eventually run out of food, clean clothes, your teeth will rot and you’ll lose all your clients. That’s an awful plan. But, can you trade meals with another family one or two days a week? Can you hire one of your children (or a neighbor’s) to take laundry duty? Can you go to the farmer’s market as a self care outing and buy dry goods in bulk with friends and distribute them while socializing? If you get up an hour earlier to exercise, over time will the energy gain from strength building mean you don’t need as much sleep?

Not all of these ideas will work for you. In fact, maybe none of them will. My point is that you have options. Take a week and look at where your energy goes. Where do you want it to go? What’s one step that will help you shift from the first answer to the second? Please tell me it the comments.

Nobody’s perfect and goodness knows we don’t need any more guilt in our lives. If you need support, if you need ideas, please ask.

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Processing |
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