Posts Tagged ‘comfort zone’

Open Home, Open Heart

Friday, November 18th, 2011

Recently, I’ve been working under the theory that my mind is clearer when my home is less cluttered. But, what about the heart?

For years I’ve been really good a building walls between myself and other people. Not letting them in emotionally… and physically. Very few people get invited in to my home. It’s not that I don’t like them, but… more that I’m not letting them see the *real* me.

Behind the Curtain?

The real me and my lack of perfection. My dining area that has a rug mat and no rug, a folding table and two director’s chairs. And before, in my old house, the, well, the dining room was unfinished there too.

Hmmm. I leave the one room in the house that is primarily used for entertaining as the last room to be finished. I finished the studio, that I never used, before I got half way through the dining room in my old house. Wow, okay, I started with one metaphor and ran smack into another one, which still fits with the first one.

Mine, All Mine

I’m keeping my life and my self to me. Not sharing, not inviting people in. I mean, I know more people and I’m more social, than I was, but still. I keep people at a distance. And maybe I need that, but maybe not. It’s a pattern to watch, at this point.

The excuse of clutter, the excuse of unfinished rooms, that’s what they are. Excuses. Reasons to keep people at a distance. And I’ve been wondering, if I’m spending all this energy keeping people out, how do I start letting people in?

All of the people who I’ve invited into my home, they are people who have seen me in my jammies and with sleep hair. I know them that well.

Opening Up

What about having acquaintances over for tea, or a few new friends over for supper? These ideas don’t seem particularly out of the ordinary, and yet, I don’t do it.

So, this was supposed to be about softening my walls and creating an inviting home, opening my heart and mind to finding someone new, someone special, and instead, I ended up at a much more general version of the same idea. Which is maybe where I need to start any way…

Now, I’m curious. How do you handle your boundaries for your home? Where do you draw your line?

Have you been thinking about adding a few comfort zone stretching challenges to your life? Get those plus resources and other fun nuggets of info in your inbox every other week, sign up for Inching Along today.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Processing |

Bookworm Reviews: Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning

Saturday, November 12th, 2011

Title: Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning
Author: Torre DeRoche
ISBN: 0615521118
Pages: 320
Release: August 27, 2011
Publisher: Gauguin Media
Rating: 5/5

Swept, Love with a Chance of Drowning is a memoir, a story of walking away from the security and into the unknown, all for love. It’s also a story of sailing, adventure, meeting new people and being horrendously sea sick. Torre DeRoche meets an intriguing man (Ivan), falls for him and facing her greatest fear, she sets sail with him, only to find out, again and again, what ‘adventure’ really means.

When I got my review copy of Swept, I was a bit nervous to start reading it. I know Torre on Twitter and being in a position to judge the art of people I know, it makes me a bit twitchy. I started reading, thinking I would get in half an hour before supper, and I did. Then I read through supper, through my bath, and straight through my bed time.

While I enjoyed Torre’s tale of developing love and the way she came to commit to the trip, her descriptions of the sailing itself, each new destination and the people they encountered were what kept me from being able to put the book down.

I spent my teen years avoiding our sail boat. I think I set foot on it twice, ever. But now… The destinations as Torre describes them, they sound fresh and beautiful, like something I have to see for myself, and places that *need* to be experienced by boat. Even when that means plugging a leak with duct tape and eating canned food for weeks on end.

If you’re at all interested in adventure travel, facing your fears, or sailing, I strongly recommend picking up a copy of Swept.

Update: Torre has had some great news since I posted this. Congratulations Torre!

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Looks Matter

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

Your appearance does matter. It affects how you feel, how others perceive you and by extension, how they treat you. So, yes, I care about how you look. But I want to be clear about this: I don’t care about your height, weight, coloring, tattoos, make up, proportions, or what brand of clothes, shoes, or accessories you wear. I probably forgot something, just tack it on to the list if it comes to you.

Invisibility is Not a Super Power

I care about how you, to use a lovely old fashioned word, comport yourself. Some of us (I go through phases of this myself) have a tendency to dress for invisibility. Blending into the background is a defense mechanism, where we feel that if we don’t do anything to get noticed, then we won’t have to deal with whatever-is-freaking-us-out-in-that-situation.

When I wear clothes that make me feel invisible, I’m less likely to stand up for myself if needed. If I look like I don’t care about how I look, it sends the message that I don’t fully respect myself and that affects how other people treat me. It shouldn’t, but it does. There’s a reason that people in positions of power wear crisply tailored clothes.

One Fish, Two Fish… Well, You Get the Idea

You take two perfect strangers, both are calm, confident, and well educated. One is wearing an ill fitting suit and his shoes have seen better days. The other wears a tailored three piece suit and his shoes were shined that morning. Who are you going to trust to manage your money?

Or you’ve got two artists in front of you, wanting you to show their work in your gallery. Their work is solid, they both have artist statements that not only speak to you, but will impress your clients. One woman, well, you’re not really even sure what she looked like when she came by. You’ve got a vague impression that she seemed mousy. The other woman, her style was in line with her art and her statement: strong, simple, a reinforcement of who she is. Who do you choose?

So Many Choices

We make unconscious choices all the time. You have amazing gifts to share with the world and I’d hate to see them overlooked because they were hidden under a baggy grey sweater.

I asked Michelle from Let’s Radiate (she was previously a fashion blogger) for some sites to check out in case you want to poke around a bit. Michelle recommended Already Pretty and Dramatis Personae. I’m currently loving Inside Out Style and I’m strongly considering doing my own take on building a capsule wardrobe. If doing your own capsule wardrobe apeals to you, Jeanine does various challenges like Project 333 and Six Items or Less that you can do too.

Do you ever dress for invisibility? Or use your clothing to convey a different message?

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Learning & Awareness |

If I Were Choosing…

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

After having a conversation with Taryn in the comments on her blog, I realized that I had added a trick to my Trying Things bag and I never told you. It’s incredibly easy and super useful too.

I started doing this in Guatemala when I would walk through the square, with the park surrounded by vendors. Wonderful smells coming from all the goodies cooking, people calling to one another, stall after stall of beautiful fabrics intermixed with touristy tchotchkes.

So overwhelming.

I would walk through and not even slow down. When I got home, I always thought of how I *should* have stopped and bought a pastry or looked at some scarves, vowing to do so next time. Of course, next time, it was just as overwhelming as the last.

Lady’s Choice

So, I started practicing “If I were choosing to… I would”. Like this: If I were choosing to interact more with the vendors, I would stop and look at the jewelry table. I don’t have to *do* anything, just notice and think about my options. If the thing I would do sounds appealing, I can go ahead and do it, or not.

Since I’m distanced from the whole thing by the fact that it’s what I ‘would’ do, not what I have committed to doing, I can carry on, without doing a thing, no blame. It’s great. Also, it gives me practice at taking time to think in overwhelming situations.

What tricks do you use so frequently that you don’t even think about them anymore?

Have you been thinking about adding a few comfort zone stretching challenges to your life? Get those plus resources and other fun nuggets of info in your inbox every other week, sign up for Inching Along today.
You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

I Don’t Hate Olives, Maybe

Monday, October 10th, 2011

What were the vegetables you would eat when you were a kid? Mine were cooked peas and corn, raw broccoli and carrots. That’s it. I was a picky eater, not as picky as some, but I definitely had (have) very specific ideas about what I liked and what I didn’t.

I wouldn’t go anywhere near cooked spinach, any other cooked greens, cooked carrots, cooked broccoli, tomatoes raw or cooked, radishes, beets, any kind of dried bean in any form, whole grains… you get the idea.

Fear Knows No Logic

And I was terrified of peppers. Bell peppers. No one could convince me that they were not hot. I quite simply would not put one in my mouth. Until I got to Sweden, where my first morning in language school, my host mother laid out a full Swedish breakfast for me.

Having been raised eating cold cereal and fruit with the occasional pancakes and eggs, I was a bit confused by the array of cheese wedges, sliced deli meats, soft rolls and hard tack, and… sliced bell peppers. In my jet lagged haze I just stared at the spread, so my host mother cut a roll in half, spread it with butter, sliced some cheese to put on top and then added two slices of bell pepper.

You Want Me to Eat What?

I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t eat hot peppers, especially not for breakfast, but I couldn’t refuse the food she had take such care to lay out and then make for me. So, I took the open faced breakfast sandwich and tentatively took a bite. Of course, the pepper was sweet and I haven’t looked back since.

I remained convinced that my food preferences from childhood were still the same, even with proof to the contrary. When I was 20 my mom convinced me to try black bean soup and I liked it. Of course, it was just that one thing, right? And it was, because that was all I allowed it to be.

Baby Steps, by way of Veggies

One by one I allowed new things into my diet, becoming proud of finding ways that I liked brussels sprouts and hummus. My palate continued to expand and I joined a CSA. Upon the first delivery, I was faced with a box filled with things I had no idea what to do with. Collard and mustard greens, yellow summer squash, zucchini, turnips, eggplant and fresh purple hulled peas.

Obviously I hand’t given the idea of what actually grows in North Texas much thought when I came up with the plan to join a CSA. Because that list up there, that’s what grows in the early spring. Tea in hand and one by one, I found recipes that I would eat, sausage soup with white beans and greens, herbed sauteed squash, zucchini bread, turnip and potato hash, baba ganoush, and a cow pea and vegetable soup.

I got to the point where I would say that the only things I wouldn’t eat were capers, olives and Ethiopian bread. My hatred of olives was so strong that when I was a child I would insist that the open jar of olives at the Thanksgiving table be moved away from me, due to the risk of an… untowards event. I was convinced I would puke. The olive bar at Whole Foods? I would hold my breath while walking past it.

Telling Stories, Again

But I started to wonder, what if I was wrong, what if the story I was telling myself about hating olives was no longer true? At the same time, I was still convinced that intentionally eating an olive would make me sick. Disgusting evil little things that they were.

And so, toes in the water I went. At a wine and cheese tasting I tried a soft goat cheese with olives in it. I couldn’t tell they were there. The same with an olive bread. Okay so ingesting olives in small quantities hidden in other foods wouldn’t cause instant death or even gagging.

Run Away, Run Away!

Earlier this year while I was at Rally! I shared a salad with Havi. It had black olives in it and I started to ask about having them on the side but decided to see what happened. Mostly, I ate around them, but at the end, I tried one. It was salty and while I wouldn’t actually go so far as to say that I liked it, I didn’t hate it either.

Huh.

So, I now have a couple of questions:

  1. Are there maybe some olives in that massive olive bar at Whole Foods that I might actually like?
  2. What other stories have I been telling myself for so long that I just believe them without question?

And, of course, a question or two for you: What are your ‘olives’? What stories do you tell yourself, that may not be true?

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

In the Rearview Mirror

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Look where you are right now. You know, metaphorically. What have you accomplished? What changes have you made in your life, the way you do things, how you respond? Where were you a year ago, five years ago, fifteen years ago? How are you different?

Because you are different, it’s one of the truisms in life. The same person never crosses the same river twice, since both the person and the river change, yes? So, I want to take some time to focus on how far we have come.

Look Both Ways

It’s so easy to look at where we are and see how fare we would still like to go. I haven’t done any public speaking yet. I haven’t done any improv or been to Russia either. All things I want to do, but even if I had done them, I would have just come up with more goals.

You know what I have done?

Actually, if you regularly read this blog, then you probably did know those things, but seeing them all in one place, it’s still powerful.

I want to know, what has changed for you? Where are you now?

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

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Posted in Learning & Awareness |

Start Where You Are

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Are those lovely stories in your head preventing you from actually moving towards creating them as reality?

You know the ones:

  • Won’t it be great when…
  • I’ll be so happy once…
  • I can’t wait until…

Telling Stories

We get so caught up in the stories, we forget that we can bring them closer to fruition. The perfection of the future seems so far from the reality of the present that we continue doing what we have been doing, because we don’t feel capable of making the grand sweeping changes that would make that future story a reality.

And for the most part, we’re not capable of making, or at least sustaining those huge changes. All at once. Baby steps, inching along, it’s how you make it up a volcano and it’s how you make lasting life changes.

Right Here, Right Now

Where are you right now? Eating mostly fast food and freezer meals and suspecting that you feel pretty lethargic because of it? Okay. Where do you want to be? Eating all (or almost all) home cooked meals from whole ingredients? Okay.

Our usual inclination: Throw out all packaged foods and start fresh.

What we end up with: An empty pantry and a sense of panic.

Which causes us to: Go out and restock the pantry with packaged foods, and a combined sense of security and shame.

Or…

An Inching Along Option:

  • Find three breakfasts that you would be happy making and eating. This takes as long as it takes.
  • Buy the ingredients for one of them.
  • Make that one.
  • Make any adjustments you want/need to it.
  • Repeat 2-4 for the other three breakfasts.
  • Get into a routine with the breakfasts.
  • Repeat for snacks, then lunches and finally suppers.

While you’re making a new routine for snacks maybe you replace your burger in a bag lunch with a healthier soup, one that comes in a box, but you know what each ingredient actually *is*.

Or maybe you start by spending some time each day noticing how you feel after you eat. Paying special attention to what foods make you feel better or worse.

Small is Feasible 

A little bit each day. Or not even each day. A little bit at a time, whatever that time is for you.

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to food, or even physical health. It goes for any lasting change you want to make.

Where am I now?

Where do I want to be?

What’s my first, smallest step I can take in that direction?

Repeat.

For the rest of your life.

Because that’s what this is, *your* life. You get to create it on your terms.

What’s one change you’ve been considering? What’s the first small step you can take to get there?

And if you want some help in working through your Where am I/Where do I want to be questions, when you sign up for Inching Along, you get a free In Bud Session.
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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

The Power of Questions

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Why?

I stood up to a cab driver while I was in Sacramento and I didn’t turn antagonistic *or* apologetic about it either. I know, I was shocked too.

I had to go to the store while I was in Sacramento and given how late it was the service representative at the train station didn’t think it was wise to walk. We went outside and got an estimate from the taxi drivers, $20-25 total, including going there, waiting and coming back. Now, you know I don’t have the best relationship with the idea of taking taxies, so I didn’t really trust that it would be that simple.

Taxis, They Use the New Math

We got there and the meter was about $12. I did my shopping but the store was short staffed so when I got back out it was at about $20. He dropped the flag again and we set out on our way. Really, it didn’t seem like I should be charged for waiting and have the flag dropped a second time, but, truthfully, I don’t know how these things work.

We returned a different way and this time the meter rang up around $22. He pulled in and told me to just give him $40. Yes, *fifteen dollars* more than the estimate. It wasn’t that long ago that I would have paid him just to get the whole ordeal behind me, but I wanted to see what he would say when I asked him about the discrepancy.

I asked him why the difference between what I had been told and what I was being charged was so large. He replied that we had to go out there, he waited and we came back.

“Yes,” I said, “but that was included in the quote.”

“Fine, pay me whatever you want.”

Just That Simple

I gave him $30 since the extended wait at the store wasn’t his fault. Then I went in and had a discussion with the station representative so that they knew what was going on. From now on, they’re going to get written quotes before they send people out in taxies.

So, this is my plan now: when something seems off, I’m going to ask why. Because, often there is something going on that I don’t know about. If I get a reasonable explanation, great. If not, I’m going to ask again. I know there are plenty of people who would look at this and think, well, yes, that’s what you do. As someone who has spent decades avoiding confrontation, this qualifies as an epiphany.

What positive ways do you use to handle confrontation?

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Posted in Processing |

Mick Jagger Got it Right

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

You can’t always get what you want, but, if you try sometimes,well you just might find you get what you need. -Rolling Stones

I’m pretty good at getting what I want. I get into programs that I apply for, I find the right ways to get people do what I ask, I find work arounds for when the solution isn’t obvious.

But, usually, I’m clearly qualified for what I want to do. When I apply for a program, I’ve made sure to meet or exceed the requirements. When I’m making a request or suggesting a work around, I’ve done my research and have the details aligned to back up what I want to do.

Something to Say

Over the past year or so, I’ve been sitting with the idea of speaking, giving talks, maybe getting up on stage, you know, with a microphone and everything. I’m nervous, I don’t feel ready, and even just writing about it makes my arms all tingly.

(If you’re poking at the edges of the ideas of speaking, Miki Markovich has a great story, towards the end of this interview,  about having a bad experience as a speaker and going back again.)

More and more, I feel the need to give public speaking a real try. I may hate it, but I want to know that, for sure. Or… I may love it, though probably, the truth will be somewhere in the middle.

Sit, Stew, and Stir

In my own manner of circling the edges of an idea, I’ve been looking at Toastmasters for practice, and I’ve found a few to visit, but I haven’t gone yet. And, of course I’ve been looking at short talks like Ignite, Pecha Kucha, and 140 Conference. Right now, a TEDx seems like a reasonable, though far away goal.

With all my poking and planning and stewing, I completely overlooked another path: Online Conferences. I follow Introvert Entrepreneur on Facebook and there was a call for presenters in my feed. With a deadline two days away. Perfect, since it gave me just enough time to write and leave my words to sit overnight, but not enough time to overwork anything.

The Qualification Barrier

So, I started filling out the form for presentation submissions. And there were no qualifications. Now, please understand, I’m sure Beth Buelow has criteria for selection, but you did not have to have previous speaking experience, a certain level of education, a published book to your name…

There was nothing to let me say, ‘Well, I meet the minimum requirements, so, I know I’ve cleared the first cut’. I could only do my best and hope. And while I wanted to have the opportunity to speak at the Virtual Introvert Conference, I knew that really I had succeeded at my first step, putting myself in a position to be selected or not. I wrote my submission and pushed ‘send’, and in doing so, I took my first real step and that counted all on it’s own.

Bonus

A week later I received an email stating that while I had not been chosen to speak, Ms. Buelow would be interested in interviewing me for her Podcast, The Introvert Entrepreneur. An offer that was unlikely to have come otherwise.

And maybe that is my first step, speaking in response to questions, which itself brings up the idea of panels. More to sit with and stew on… There is no one right way. There is no failure. You try, you see what happens, you correct your course and try again. And sometimes there are bonuses. Mostly it’s a matter of how you define ‘success’.

Have you taken any small steps recently or tried for one thing and gotten something else?

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |

Bus Adventure Day

Friday, July 22nd, 2011

If you’ve been following along the past few months, you’ve seen bits and pieces of what I’ve come to call my bus insanity. It’s not a very nice name, but it is what it felt like.

 

When I decided to move to Austin, I decided to go carless. Austin has Car2Go, buses, bike lanes and it’s pretty pedestrian friendly too. Downtown, there are also taxis and pedicabs. For longer trips there’s the train, car rental, and of course the airport.

Freak Out

Only, it turned out, I was freaked out by riding the bus. Well, that’s not exactly right. I was freaked out by the idea of doing it wrong. Yep, that again. See, there are so many tiny details involved in riding the bus and I *hate* doing things wrong. Even things that I would forgive of anyone else, or not even notice if anyone else did them.

 

And so, the chorus began:

  • Do I just stand at the bus stop?
  • Do I flag down the bus?
  • How do I pay?
  • What if the bus-ticket-machine-thing won’t take my money?
  • How will I know when my stop is coming up?
  • When do I ring for my stop?
  • How do I ring for my stop?

And then, the stress and accompanying fatigue and pain. Mercy.

Break it Down, Um… No

Usually, I would break it down into smaller steps. And I tried. I went on the bus with a friend. I watched people at bus stops as I was walking places. Only, there’s only so much you can break it down. Once you get on the bus, you eventually have to get off. Then you have to get home.

 

I finally realized that 1) I needed to have absolutely no other pressure on me that day. No plan to be anywhere specific and any particular point in time and 2) the only way to do that was block out a whole day for it.

You’ve Got Two Choices of What You Can Do

There are two ways to look at anything you are going to do. You can look at it a something you have to get through. Or, you can look at it as an adventure. I’m sure you can guess which one you are more likely to repeat once you’re done.

 

If I just rode the bus to the store and back (one ride, a half a mile each way), it would have been something I had managed to get through, something I could check of my list of having accomplished. It would have been unlikely that it would have much easier for me the next time.

 

So, I had a Bus Adventure Day. First, I went to the yarn store, which, for me is wonderfully comforting. One bus east and a transfer south. Of course, I missed my stop by one, I think. I’m still not real good at reading where I need to stop on the map on my phone, but I have since discovered that the list style directions give the cross streets for the stop.

Cranky Pants and Gingerbread Pancakes

There had been some people on the second bus who were cranky and being rather loud about it and that kind of threw me for a bit. So, I went to a cafe and had breakfast in the afternoon, a treat of gingerbread pancakes, fruit, bacon and tea. If I had been getting through my bus difficulties, I wouldn’t have stopped because it would have just added more time, but since it was an adventure: Afternoon Breakfast!

 

On to the megastore. While I’m not a fan of megastores, they are the only places I know where you can buy recycling bags for the city pickup. When I got to my stop, there was a man singing and dancing and clapping. I’m still not sure if he was off his meds, on somebody else’s, or just enjoying himself without caring what anyone else thought.

Confuddled Won’t Kill You Either

I got confused on this one and got off the bus one stop too early, which wouldn’t have been too bad, only it was about 100º F, so, it was kind of icky. Also worth mentioning, I need to get a water bottle. It’s too freaking hot in this state to wander around waterless, it’s dangerous and also, pointless.

 

On the way home I managed to miss a stop which meant I had to run to catch the next bus. Also, the talking people, they have made me decide to start wearing earbuds from now on. I really don’t wish to have another conversation about enemies. Especially ones who are imagined. Um, yeah. That.

The Truth About Adventures

Things I know about adventures:

1) Things will go wrong.

2) It doesn’t matter when things go wrong, since it’s all part of the adventure.

 

Riding a bus isn’t much of an adventure for most people, but it worked perfectly for me.

 

Is there anything you would like to turn into an adventure, or maybe already have? Please share in the comments, I’d love to hear about it.

 

Looking to stretch your comfort zone in tiny ways and pick up some resource recommendations? Sign up for Inching Along, and every other week I’ll send you one small (possibly even fun) challenge that you can easily accomplish plus other nuggets that I find.

You know, you can get updates by email or RSS. Yay, updates!

In the comments:

We’re being open here, sharing and saying things we don’t always say out loud. What helps: Sharing your stories and Ideas. Cheering and telling what works/worked for you. What hurts: shoulds, harshness, and such. (I used to teach first grade, I can’t help it.)

 

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Posted in Comfort Zone Stretches |
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